This book is written for the man who thinks he has found the right woman and is ready to make the ultimate commitment – marriage. Granted, I am not a man, but I am a woman who has seen plenty of her guy friends walk through the decision-making process to get married, counseled them through staying married and supported them when things didn’t work out.
Like most events in life, I’ve lost some and won some. Although they weren’t my battles to fight, I found it difficult to see my friends going through these trials and tribulations in their relationships. This book is filled with my opinions based on the experiences that I have been a part of and my desire to encourage relationships built on a strong foundation of love, communication and understanding. I hope that reading this will provide you with some insight into figuring out if she is the ONE so that when you say, “I do” it will be forever.
It is my belief that some men get married when they reach a certain point in their life. You may have a job that pays a decent wage, you feel like you can financially take care of a family, or you find a girl so far out of your league that you think the only way to keep her is to pop the question (I know that most guys won’t ‘fess up to this one, but it’s ok). In these situations, there are no fireworks, no cosmic alignment of the stars, no overwhelming sense that your life is incomplete without her; you are just ready to take the next step in your life – starting a family. If you find yourself in one of these situations, it is very necessary for you to create some parameters to judge whether the woman standing before you is the one you can spend the rest of your life with.
If you find yourself in one of these situations, it is very necessary for you to create some parameters to judge whether the woman standing before you is the one you can spend the rest of your life with. emotions that sometimes embody falling in love involves some rational thinking. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It should not be something that is here today and gone tomorrow.
Getting married and staying married is a choice. It is a choice that you have to remind yourself, possibly on a daily basis that you willingly undertook. Throughout your journey together, you will be faced with many temptations. You may meet someone who is more attractive, that you perceive to be better in bed or that stimulates you more intellectually. It is during these times that you have to reflect on all of the things about your wife that made you decide that she is the ONE.
I believe the divorce rate is so high in our society because we are no longer getting married for the right reasons. Not only have many people given up on love but some aren’t even being practical about their decisions. You want someone who you can live with without wanting to kill – everyday; while she wants a younger, sexier version of her father. There is a chance that both of you will end up with the perfect mate and a lifelong union but the majority of relationships end in divorce with hopes of become wiser the next time around.
If you want to get it right this time, get in gear for these ten projects and learn some things about your woman who will serve as a crystal ball into some of her tendencies. Notice that I said tendencies because people are unpredictable but we are going to focus on increasing your probability of a successful partnership. There will still be things about her that it will take years to figure out but you should have a clearer view about some important aspects of her personality and decision-making process, which will in turn help you to better communicate with her.
Some people may think these projects are tricky or a way of being underhanded but I don‟t see it that way. I think every situation can be viewed positively or negatively. I prefer to see these projects from a positive perspective. It is hard to really get to know people because they have become very good at introducing you their representatives, the person that they want you to know or the person that they want to be. Sometimes, you are falling in love with her representative and feel like you get your formal introduction to your lifelong mate once you put a ring on it. These projects are a way for you to see beyond what is immediately being presented to you and attempt to gain a deeper understanding of the person you are planning to commit the rest of your life to.
I’ve heard so many people, not just men; say that their mate changed once they got married. It could be true but I find it hard to believe that they completely changed. I think that sometimes there wasn’t enough due diligence done on the front end because the couple felt it was time to take the plunge, for whatever reason. My motto is: what does it matter if we wait a few months if we are planning to spend the rest of our lives together. If either of you are rushing to get marriage, that should be a red flag because an eternal bond can begin without a ceremony. That’s not an endorsement for keeping her on the hook for an extended period. I’m just saying take some time to get to know her. If you have been in a relationship with a woman for more than three years and you are still not sure whether you want to marry, I have another book for you…
I wish you the best of luck and hope to receive many wedding invitations and many more letters of gratitude years from now.
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